If you're the parent of a matric learner, you can probably feel the pressure building at home. Prelims are either coming up or they are already here, and your child has a mountain of work to get through, and somewhere in the middle of all of this, you're trying to figure out whether they're actually prepared or just telling you they're prepared so you'll stop asking.

You might be wondering how much you should be pushing them, whether their prelim marks really matter, or whether there's even enough time left to make a difference before the final exams. And if your child is struggling with Maths or Physical Sciences, you may also be wondering what you're supposed to do when you don't necessarily know the work well enough to help them yourself.

This is something we see often at Mlungisi Nkosi Maths & Science Centre. Parents want to support their children, but sometimes that support turns into constant reminders to study, arguments over phones, comparisons with other learners and a lot of anxiety on both sides. The intention is good, but it doesn't always help the learner perform better.

So, rather than giving you another generic list of things your child "should" be doing, let's talk about what prelims actually mean, where they fit into your child's final mark, and how you can support them through this period without becoming their teacher, tutor and study police at the same time.

First, Do Prelims Actually Count?

This is probably one of the first things your child will tell you when you ask whether they're taking prelims seriously: "But prelims don't really count."

There's some truth behind the idea that prelims aren't as heavily weighted as the final exams, but saying they don't count isn't quite right.

According to the Department of Basic Education, the preliminary examination is one of the assessment tasks that contributes towards a learner's School-Based Assessment (SBA) mark. The SBA makes up 25% of the final subject mark, while the final November NSC examination contributes the remaining 75%.

Within that 25%, the prelim exam itself typically contributes between 5% and 7% of the final subject mark, depending on the number of assessment tasks required for the particular subject.

So, yes, the November exam carries considerably more weight. But that doesn't make the prelim mark irrelevant.

More importantly, prelims give your child a chance to see where they actually stand while there is still time to do something about it.

The Mark Is Important, But the Feedback Is Even More Useful

Let's say your child gets 48% for Physical Sciences in their prelims. You might immediately focus on the number and think, "We need to get that mark up." That's understandable, but the more useful question is: why did they get 48%?

Perhaps they understood the content but couldn't finish the paper. Maybe they knew the formulas but struggled to decide which one to use. Perhaps there are specific topics they simply haven't mastered yet, or they lost marks because they didn't understand what the question was asking.

Those are very different problems, and each one requires a different solution.

This is why we encourage parents to look beyond the final percentage. When your child gets their prelim results, sit down with them and look at what actually happened in the paper. Where did they lose marks? Which questions did they struggle with? Were there sections they left unanswered? Did they make mistakes on topics they thought they understood?

The point isn't to interrogate them about every lost mark. It's to use the exam as information.

A prelim gives you a snapshot of your child's preparation before the final exams. If there are gaps, you now have an opportunity to address them.

Your Child May Not Need You to Teach Them. They May Need You to Help Them Plan.

One of the hardest things about having a matric learner is knowing where your role as a parent ends and where academic support begins.

You don't necessarily need to know how to solve a calculus problem or explain Newton's laws. Your child has teachers, tutors and other academic resources for that. What you can do is help them create the space and structure they need to actually use those resources.

Instead of asking them every evening, "Have you studied?", try having a conversation about what they are studying and what they are finding difficult.

Ask them which subjects they feel confident about and which ones they're worried about. Ask whether they know which topics they need to prioritise. Find out whether they're actually practising past papers or mostly reading through their notes.

That conversation can tell you a lot more than simply checking whether they're sitting at their desk.

It also gives your child an opportunity to recognise that they may need help in a particular area. Sometimes a learner isn't lazy or uninterested; they genuinely don't know how to approach the work they're struggling with.

"I've Been Studying" Doesn't Always Mean "I've Been Preparing for the Exam"

This is one of those conversations that can be difficult for parents.

Your child tells you they've been studying, but then the test comes back and the mark hasn't improved. It's very easy to assume that they haven't been working hard enough.

Sometimes that's true. But sometimes the problem is not the amount of time they're spending studying. It's what they're doing during that time.

Reading through a chapter three times is not necessarily going to help a learner answer an unfamiliar exam question. Watching a Maths lesson is useful, but it doesn't replace sitting down and solving the problems yourself. Highlighting notes can make you feel productive without necessarily testing whether you can remember or apply the information later.

This is particularly important for subjects such as Maths and Physical Sciences, where learners need to practise applying concepts and solving problems rather than simply recognising information.

So if your child says they've been studying, don't immediately dismiss it. Ask them how they've been studying.

Are they doing past papers? Are they checking their mistakes? Are they practising under timed conditions? Are they going back to questions they got wrong and trying them again?

Those questions can help you understand whether the issue is effort, study technique or a gap in understanding.

Don't Turn Every Conversation at Home Into a Conversation About Marks

We know you care about your child's results. You're supposed to.

But during matric, it can become very easy for every interaction to turn into another conversation about school.

"Have you studied?"

"When is your next test?"

"How did you do?"

"What are your marks?"

"Why aren't you working?"

After a while, your child can start feeling as though they are being measured every time they walk through the door.

That doesn't mean you should stop holding them accountable. It means you need to give them some breathing room as well.

Your child is already aware that matric matters. They know university applications matter. They know their marks matter. They probably don't need to hear that every single day.

What they may need from you is a calm place to come home to, particularly when they're already feeling overwhelmed.

You can still expect them to put in the work while making it clear that one disappointing mark isn't going to change how you see them.

Be Careful About Comparing Your Child to Other Learners

This one can be difficult because comparisons often happen without us even realising we're making them.

Maybe another learner in the family is getting distinctions. Maybe a friend's child has already completed several past papers. Maybe you hear another parent talking about how well their child is doing and suddenly you're wondering why yours isn't doing the same.

But your child's academic journey isn't identical to anyone else's.

If your child is currently getting 45%, telling them that another learner is getting 80% doesn't give them a strategy for reaching 80%. It usually just gives them another reason to feel that they're falling behind.

A more useful question is: what would meaningful improvement look like for your child from where they are right now?

Maybe the first goal is moving from 45% to 55%. Then from 55% to 60%. Once you understand where the gaps are, you can work towards improving them.

Progress doesn't always happen in one huge jump.

What If Your Child Is Struggling With Maths or Physical Sciences?

If your child has been working consistently but continues to struggle with a subject, this is where you may need to look at whether they need additional academic support.

More study time isn't always the answer.

If a learner doesn't understand a concept, spending another three hours alone with the textbook may simply mean spending three more hours being confused.

Look for patterns in their work. Are they repeatedly struggling with the same topics? Are they unable to complete past-paper questions without looking at the memo? Do they understand an example when someone explains it but struggle to solve a similar question independently?

Those are signs that the learner may need someone to help identify the gap and work through it with them.

And the earlier you do that, the better.

Prelims are followed by the final stretch towards the November exams. That time can be used very effectively if your child knows exactly what they need to work on.

What Should You Do When the Prelim Results Come Back?

Try not to make the first question, "Why did you get that mark?"

Instead, look at the result together.

Ask your child what they think went wrong. Were there topics they didn't understand? Did they run out of time? Were there questions they knew how to answer but made careless mistakes on?

Then ask the most important question:

"What are we going to do differently before the final exams?"

That changes the conversation from judging the result to responding to it.

And if the result is good, don't immediately move the goalposts.

Take the time to understand what worked. Perhaps your child prepared consistently, used past papers effectively or finally found a study method that suits them.

The goal is not simply to celebrate a good prelim mark. It's to understand what helped them achieve it so they can carry that approach into November.

There Is Still Time After Prelims

This is perhaps the most important thing we want parents to remember.

Prelims happen before the final NSC exams for a reason. They give learners an opportunity to test themselves before the marks that carry the greatest weight.

So if your child's prelim results aren't what you hoped for, don't treat them as a final verdict.

Use them to identify the problem.

If the problem is content, address the content. If it's exam technique, practise exam technique. If it's time management, start doing timed papers. If your child needs additional support, get that support sooner rather than later.

The worst thing you can do is look at a disappointing prelim result and decide that nothing can be done.

There is still work to do, and there is still time to do it.

We Wrote a Guide Specifically for Your Child

We know that the advice a parent needs isn't necessarily the same as the advice a matric learner needs.

That's why we've also put together a student-focused article that speaks directly to learners about how to prepare for their prelims. It covers practical things they can do now, including how to prioritise topics, use past papers, practise under timed conditions and prepare without leaving everything until the last minute.

If your child is writing prelims this year, send them the student guide here:

READ THE STUDENT GUIDE: 6 Practical Tips to Prepare for Your Matric Prelims

It may be a useful starting point for a conversation with your child about what they're doing to prepare and where they might need some extra support.

A Final Word From Us to Parents

We know that watching your child go through matric can be difficult. You want to help, but you can't write the paper for them. You can remind them to study, but you can't make the work sink in. And when their marks aren't where they need to be, it's natural to worry about what that might mean for their future.

Try to remember that your child doesn't need you to have all the answers.

They need you to notice when they're struggling, help them find the right support, encourage them to keep going when the work gets difficult and give them enough space to take responsibility for their own preparation.

Prelims matter, but they are also an opportunity to learn.

If your child's result shows that something isn't working, that is information you can use. If they do well, that's information too. Either way, there is still a final stretch ahead before November, and what happens during that time can make a meaningful difference.

At MNMSC, that's the part we want to help with: not just getting learners through one exam, but helping them understand where they are, what they need to improve and how to approach the work with a plan.

You don't have to figure it all out on your own.